


Memory

by ConfusedMuse



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Concussions, F/M, Fluffy Ending, Head Injury, Injury Recovery, Mild Language, blood mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-15
Updated: 2014-07-15
Packaged: 2018-02-09 00:52:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1962759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedMuse/pseuds/ConfusedMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As long as one of them was around to remember, that would be enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory

**Author's Note:**

> It's finally finished! Oh man, this turned out a lot more difficult to write than I thought it would be. I've been writing this since last year essentially, and it's gone through so many versions but none of them felt right. This one does feel like I finally got what I was going for, but I could still probably edit it until the end of time and never post it. So I'm stopping myself now and posting anyway. Anyway, thanks for reading this little ramble! I hope that you enjoy!

Hanji squinted into the sunset, realizing that she couldn’t remember how she’d gotten here. She was standing near a row of wagons, the other soldiers walking around her looking grim and avoiding making eye contact. Most of them were in bandages, or had splints attached to limbs. Hanji tried to remember why she was standing there, but there was a painful pounding in her head that wouldn’t go away. It felt like a thick fog was hanging over her thoughts, and she tried to focus.

An expedition. They’d been on a expedition. But all Hanji could remember was passing through the wall with her squad that morning. Trying to think of what happened after that made her head hurt more. She pressed a hand to her temple, feeling the rough scratch of bandages there. What had happened to her?

Hanji realized that she couldn’t see her squadmates anywhere. Her throat went dry, heart beating faster. She didn’t dare ask the surrounding soldiers where the recovered bodies had been taken. No, she wasn’t going to assume the worst. Hanji shook her head, immediately regretting it when the pain spiked.

_Levi._

Another worry floated to the front of her muddled mind. _Where was Levi?_

And in the same breath as her chest tightened, Hanji knew that her sudden fear was irrational—they’d been in different groups this time, him at a safer point in the formation. But even if he had been on the outer lines, she didn’t doubt his strength for a moment. Levi wouldn’t go down easily.

But Hanji’s anxiety wouldn’t fade. She had to find him, she had to make sure that he was okay. Hanji began to walk around the wagons, head craning in each direction, looking for just a glimpse so that she’d know for sure—

“I thought I told you to stay put.”

A hand grabs Hanji’s shoulder and spins her around. Her vision goes fuzzy and the throbbing in the back of her head increases with the sudden movement, but there he is, looking the most annoyed she’d ever seen him. “Levi?”

His expression changes a little, like he wasn’t expecting to hear that. 

“Well, she’s responding. That’s a good sign.” There’s a medic standing behind Levi, his jacket stained dark red. Levi pulls Hanji forward by her hand, and the medic starts waving a finger in front of her nose. Hanji’s eyes follow it despite her confusion.

"Your name?"

"Hanji Zoë.” The finger was making her dizzy. 

“How long have you been in the Scouting Legion?”

“Two years.” He stopped with the finger and started poking at one of her arms. Hanji pulled back, but the man didn’t offer any explanation.

"And where are we right now?" he continued.

"Uh, back with the main part of the expedition?"

"And how did you get here?"

"I...don't know."

“Tch.” Levi looked away, folding his arms. 

"Definitely a concussion,” the medic said, turning back to Levi. “Nothing too serious, but you'll want to keep an eye on her all the same." Hanji tried to focus on his words, but they were slipping away from her like water. She rubbed her eyes with the edge of her hand. She knew that she needed to be concerned about her sudden memory loss, but the relief at finding Levi in one piece mixed with the pain in her skull had drained her. At the moment, Hanji only wanted to sleep.

A hand roughly grabbed her wrist, pulling it away from her face. "Hey, shitty glasses, can you hear me?"

Hanji forced herself to focus on Levi's face. "Hm?"

"I said to get in the wagon and lay down. We're leaving soon."

Their perspective had changed. Now Hanji was looking up at him. She glanced around and saw that she was sitting on the back end of a wagon. The sky had turned a deeper orange. “Oh.” How long had she not been paying attention? 

Hanji pushed herself back, dragging her legs into the wagon. It felt like the wood was swaying underneath her hands. Had they left already? She looked up and saw Levi still standing at the end of the wagon, his eyes a little wider than usual. The wagon hadn't moved at all. Hanji came to the slow realization that she was the one swaying and laughed. Levi said something, but it reached her ears as a low buzz. "What?"

Levi took a step forward, resting a heavy hand on Hanji's shoulder. "I said _lay down_. You're freaking me out." He pushed her to the floor of the wagon and Hanji giggled again, not sure what exactly was so funny but laughing anyway. 

He shoved something under her head as a makeshift pillow, and Hanji recognized the material when it touched her cheek. It was a cloak. Her cloak. How long had she not been wearing it? How long had Levi been holding it? But her eyelids got heavier, and Hanji cared less about the questions. 

Just as she closed her eyes, Hanji felt the rumble and slight vibration of the wagon beginning to move. She relaxed against it, drifting away like it was a lullaby.

 

* * *

 

_She was flying between the tree trunks of the forest on the 3DMG, the tang of pine needles sharp in her nose. Echoing cries of Titans sounded in the greenery around her, quickly followed by the sounds of blades piercing their flesh, and mercifully no crunch of Titan teeth against human bones. Her squadmates were still in sight. For now, things were running smoothly._

_A tree trunk flies into their path with a crash of wood, a Titan following it. But before it can close its fingers around the nearest of her squadmates, a deep chunk is sliced out of its neck and it falls. And she sees Levi, suspended in midair in the moment before firing the anchors again, and Hanji realizes that he doesn't see about the abnormal coming up right behind—_

 

* * *

 

**_BANG_ **

Hanji’s head slams into the bottom of the wagon as it comes down from the bump, white lights popping in her eyes. Something between a gasp and a cry escaped her as the pain hit. Her knees drew into her chest out of instinct, and she wrapped her arms around her head, trying to breathe around the throbbing.

Someone grabbed her shoulder. Hanji pulled away, but the motion rolled her head on the rumbling floor of the wagon, which made the pain even worse. This time the hands grab for her arms, pulling her up at then resting her upper body against something soft, dulling the vibrations of the wagon. Arms wrap around her, one hand holding her head in place. Hanji feels the echo of Levi’s voice through his chest before he speaks.

"Hanji. Look at me."

The lights were still flashing in Hanji’s eyes, and the truth was that if it weren't for his arms she would have no idea which way was up. She squinted, but the lights didn’t fade. "I can't."

"Hanji." She caught the worry in his voice, but there was nothing she could do about that. His hold around her tightened a little bit, and Hanji relaxed deeper into his chest. Not bouncing along with every rock in the path helped. The lights were starting to fade.

Then the darkness in the background parted like rainclouds. Hanji blinked a few times, barely making out the outline of the blurry night scenery rushing past the wagon and the other injured soldiers nearby. Someone had taken her glasses, but she was glad she could finally see something other than the lights. "Oh. There we go."

Levi shifted, and Hanji found herself staring at his stern face. He exhaled, putting one hand on her head and drawing her back in towards him. "Fucking four-eyes. I thought you'd gone blind."

Hanji made a noncommittal noise, feeling her eyelids go heavy again. 

"Hanji, how much do you remember?"

"Hm?"

Levi paused. “Do you know how long you’ve been a Scout?”

Hanji wrinkled her nose, not sure why Levi was asking the same questions again. “Two years.”

"How did you get in this wagon?"

"You put me here." Another pause. "Levi, why are you—”

"Do you remember how you got injured?"

Hanji furrowed her brow, but thinking back to anything before Levi had arrived with the doctor made her head hurt again. “No, Levi. I just…wanna sleep." He smelled like soap and trees.

He sighed again. "We're almost there."

Hanji nodded into the fabric of Levi’s cloak, closing her eyes again.

 

* * *

 

_He dodges the first swipe easily enough, but the Titan's other hand is already bearing down on him, and Hanji can see that even with Levi's skills, he won't be able to get away. But by that time she'd already closed the gap. She feels the embroidery on his sleeve tear under her fingers as she grabs his jacket and shoves him away, her surroundings going dark as the Titan's hand comes down—_

 

* * *

 

She woke up to Levi shaking her shoulders.

“What’s your name?"

The questions were getting annoying. The next time it rained during training, someone was getting a mudball straight to the face. Hanji blinked away the dizziness from sitting up and met Levi’s eyes. "Hanji Zoë.”

He didn't blink. “How many years in the Scouts?”

“Two.”

"How did you get here?"

”Some shorty put me here because of my raging headache.”

Normally something like that would get at least one sarcastic remark out of him—and Hanji thought that she was doing pretty well with the throbbing in her head blocking out most of her senses—but Levi’s expression didn't change.

"Can you walk?"

Hanji bit back her next quip. "I think so.”

She couldn't. As soon as her feet hit the ground after sliding out of the wagon behind Levi, the world tilted. Levi grabbed her upper arm just before her face hit the ground. He jerked her back up and she stumbled against him, almost falling again. "You fucking lied to me, shitty glasses," Levi said. 

"Not on purpose," Hanji groaned, holding her forehead again. The ground still felt like it was rolling under her feet as Levi pulled her forward, steadying her with his other hand when she lost her balance. She could just make out the outline of the headquarters building, but without her glasses the torches and lanterns the other soldiers carried made everything else a flickering orange blur. 

Levi guided Hanji through the hallways. She stopped paying attention to where they were going, concentrating on taking the next step forward and not falling again. But then the acid smell of blood and disinfectant hit her. Even with her bad vision Hanji could still see in her peripheral vision the gray and white uniforms of the doctors and the bodies on the cramped cots splashed with all different shades of blood. The infirmary.

They walked between the beds, Hanji trying to avoid knocking into anyone. A few seconds later, someone a couple beds in front of them let out a long wail of pain that gave Hanji chills. She squeezed Levi’s hand. “Not that way,” he whispered, pulling her back in the opposite direction.

A minute of zigzagging between the beds of the injured, they reached a long curtain hanging from the ceiling which separated those who were expected to die from those who would probably live. Levi held the curtain to the side while Hanji stepped through first. It was much quieter on this side, but the thought made her feel horrible. Her head pounded in agreement. 

"Here." Levi pushed her towards an empty bed. Hanji tripped over her own feet and lost her balance for the last time, collapsing onto the mattress. Too tired to complain about the rough handling, Hanji burrowed into the thin sheets, her eyes and limbs feeling too heavy to ever move again.

But before she could fall asleep, one thought resurfaced.

“You didn’t get hurt, right?”

Her voice came out much quieter than Hanji had intended, and at first she thought that he hadn’t heard her. Then she felt something pulling at her foot. She cracked one eye open and saw Levi pulling off her left boot, frowning at the sole of the shoe. “The fuck did you walk in?” he muttered. 

“Levi,” Hanji tried again.

He pulled off her other boot before he looked at her. “I’m fine.”

Hanji squinted. If she had her glasses, it would be easier for her to guess if he was lying. “So that Titan didn’t…?”

“No.”

Hanji let out a breath, the soft exhale making her even more sleepy. She can’t keep her eyes open any longer. The bed dips next to her, and she feels a hand brushing the bangs out her face.

“Hanji?” Levi’s voice is much closer now. 

“Mmm?”

“You remember a Titan attacking me?”

“Yeah… And then you… You couldn’t… So I…” Hanji cuts herself off with a yawn. 

“Nevermind,” Levi says, but he doesn’t he doesn’t stop stroking her head.

 

* * *

 

_She blinks through blood, and sees light filtering through tree leaves. She's sitting on a massive tree branch, but she doesn't remember how she got there. There's a steaming sword in her hand. Why?_

_It’s too hot. She grabs at the green fabric around her neck. She doesn't remember these clothes, nor the belts around her legs and chest. She can’t catch her breath. What is happening?_

_Someone grabs her shoulder and says a name she doesn't recognize. She turns to see a man shorter than her, wearing the same clothes, and with an expression that would make a murderer's blood run cold. He says that name again, and she pulls away. She scrambles to stand and points the sword at him. Is he the reason she can't remember anything?_

_Her head hurts. She grabs at her forehead with her other hand, trying to keep the sword steady. But he's still coming closer. She yells at him to stay away from her and slashes the sword towards his chest, but that's when her balance fails._

_She slips off the branch and the last thing she remembers is the light through the leaves and him jumping after her._

 

* * *

 

This time, her eyes opened on their own. The throbbing was still there, but this time she felt rested, her mind finally clear. She rolled over to see Levi sitting in a chair next to the bed, staring at her. 

Hanji smiled. “How long have you been watching me sleep?"

"What's your name?"

"This again?"

"Name."

She sighed. "Hanji Zoë.”

“How long have you been a Scout?”

“Two years.” Hanji wrinkled her nose at the ceiling. “Oh! Oh yeah. This is what you do for people with concussions, right? Ask them stuff?” She started to laugh. “I can’t believe I forgot that! I was getting mad at you for asking me obvious things.”

Levi continued over her giggling. "And how were you injured?"

Hanji looked up at the ceiling. "Someone wasn't watching behind him, and there was a Titan coming straight for him. And I didn't have the time to kill it, but I was close enough to knock him out of the way. And then..." Hanji put a hand over her eye. "I dunno."

Levi was quiet for a long minute."

“Hey, Levi. Am I off amnesiac watch now?” She poked her foot out from under the sheets, nudging his knee with her toes. Levi was staring at the floor. Between her fuzzy vision and the flickering light of the nearby lantern, Hanji couldn't quite make out his expression. His silence was concerning. "Levi." She pushed his leg harder. "Hey."

He looked up and she stopped. "You're a damn handful, shitty glasses."

Hanji sat up slowly, hoping that she wouldn't trigger another dizzy spell. Now that she was a little bit closer, she could see that Levi looked even more tired that usual. How long had he sat up, waiting for her? Hanji felt a grin split her face. "You were worried about me."

He fowned at her. "You survived the wall falling. We need survivors. It would be a waste if you died there."

Hanji pulled her legs in and scooted closer to Levi. She rested her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, still smiling at him. "But that's not the only reason, is it?"

Levi’s glare intensified. "Yes it is."

"Mmm, I dunno," Hanji said, leaning forward a bit. "I remember someone looking pretty upset that I didn't recognize them. 

His eyes widened and Hanji burst out laughing at his expression. “You’re actually surprised! You didn’t think that I remembered!”

Levi recovered quickly, going back to his usual glower. “You said that you didn't, shitty glasses."

It took Hanji a few seconds to catch her breath before she could speak again. “My point is, you _were_ worried about me."

"And you tried to stab me."

"You _are_  pretty scary looking, you know."

Levi leaned in towards Hanji, supporting himself with one hand on the bed and opening his mouth to say something, but Hanji had been waiting for him to come into range. She cupped her hands around his face and pulled him towards her, giving him a big kiss on the lips before letting go. "Thank you. For worrying." 

She’d expected Levi to yell at her, or at least say something. But he didn't move at all, frozen in place with that same wide-eyed look of surprise from earlier. Just when Hanji started to feel like she'd made a horrible mistake, he went back to his familiar scowl but leaned back in again. He reached a hand through her hair, still matted with blood and dirt from the expedition, and kissed her deeply. 

It took Hanji a second to respond, bracing herself against the mattress with her arms so she wouldn’t fall over as his kiss became more insistent. When she pressed back he softly nipped at her lower lip, making her moan. The throbbing in her head turned distant. He was alive. Titans hadn’t hurt him. She hadn’t hurt him. They were both still alive, and Hanji didn’t want to let him go. She grabbed at his collar, deepening the kiss, but Hanji had forgotten that she still couldn’t hold her balance. She dragged them both down, their foreheads smacking together on impact.

"Ow!" Hanji saw the flashing lights again, sucking in air through her teeth as if that would make the pain go away.

"Hanji?" 

"I'm fine," she said, still grimacing. "Didn't think that one through." Her vision came back quicker this time. Levi was scowling and had a red spot on his forehead, but his cheeks looked a little more flushed now and she could feel his fingers brush her forehead. Hanji took her small victories. 

"Get some rest, shitty glasses," he said, moving away. Hanji made a discontent noise and grabbed his cravat, pulling him back to her. She locked her arms around his neck and planted a wet kiss between his eyes. Levi squirmed, trying to break away, but Hanji refused to loosen her hold on him, pulling his head against her chest.

“Hey.” His voice was muffled. “If you want to keep your arms, then let me go."

Hanji buried her face in his hair. "Nope. This is my apology for trying to slice you."

"Shitty apology,” Levi mumbled.

Hanji laughed, but let go anyway. Grumbling, Levi settled himself next to her on the bed but with his head still resting on her chest, over her heart. He reached over her waist and grabbed her hand. Hanji looped an arm around his back as well, her fingers resting in his hair. She stroked the soft fuzz of his undercut.

“This is nice,” Hanji said. “Maybe I should get hit on the head more often.”

“Not funny, four eyes.”

Hanji chuckled to herself and then relaxed, closing her eyes. She could feel Levi’s heartbeat and count the rhythm in his breathing. The weight of his head on her chest was comforting. The idea of forgetting him, let alone being scared of him, seemed impossible.

“Hey, Levi.”

“What?”

“Promise that you won’t forget me.”

Levi sighed. “I’ve have to hit my head pretty hard to do that.”

Hanji smiled. “That’s what I’d hoped you’d say.”

Levi shifted around until he was facing her again, looking completely unamused. “You don’t have to sound so damn smug about it.”

That just made Hanji’s smile wider. Levi sighed again and cupped her chin in his hand, pulling her into a long, soft kiss. “Just try to sleep off whatever nonsense is still rolling around in your head,” he said when they broke away.

“Mm.” Hanji settled back against him, closing her eyes and finding Levi’s heartbeat once more. As long as one of them was around to remember, that would be enough.

 


End file.
